There is nothing more frustrating to me than when I know I'm a Creative but suddenly, the desire to create is diminished. Life itself can cause this, stress, lack of money, friendships gone bad, health issues, the list goes on. For me, what affects me the most, first, when Ron, my husband's health turns sour. You would think I'd have this totally under control, dealing now for 13 years, but I don't. Reasons: I worry, I feel spent, or I feel I'm at my "wits end". What also blocks me is when those you think love you, turn against you, because their own hearts are undeveloped. It frustrates me to no end when others are cold hearted and void of compassion.
I am really enjoying reading Julia Cameron's book right now, The Artist Way. She has helped me identify the "crazymakers" in my life and how they cause blockage in my creative flow. I love that I am gaining strength to move forward with much anticipation. Recently many new friends have entered my life, and for that I am so grateful. It is making Arizona feel like home now. And all these new friends are Creatives too. How cool is that!!!
This is Dreamer. Something felt different inside of me while creating her. I sensed a new kind of freedom within. A freedom to validate who I am and what I am called to do. In Julia's book, The Artist Way, she encourages you to write morning pages every day for thirty minutes. I have been doing this now for almost a month. It is amazing to see what comes out in just those thirty minutes. I've been getting answers to my questions. It has been an emptying of the "junk". My heart feels as if it is getting a spiritual bath, being repaired, stronger and better than before. This very change even reflects in the change of my handwriting. I am really enjoying the journey even though my circumstances have stayed the same.
I named this sweet little one, "Let Love In". As I am letting love be the dominance of my heart, I am "letting" OUT the opposite - resentment - bad seeds - the back-bitters bad works - unkindness - lack of compassion, etc. etc. It's a work in progress, but I'm feeling lighter having jumped on the train that is leading me upward. It takes action, and work, but it is worth every moment spent aiming for the destination I am determined to reach.
This big girl is named "Create Life". I've decided to keep her. She speaks to me right now and down the road, she may be ready to travel her own journey, but for now, she is my reminder - that we need to Create Life. It takes a conscious effort to do so. I watch my dear husband roll around in his wheelchair, room to room, almost aimless. I desire deep inside to create a life for him, but I can't. We each have to do it for ourselves. No one else can make our life for us. We have to take control. I am stepping out now and doing just that. It is a big huge change for me, but that's where I am feeling the "freedom", becoming who I want to be.
Are you stuck? You don't have to be. Be willing to do the work, and changes will come. You will find yourself rearranging your life, for the better. You will be happy that the "bad seeds" are no longer involved, creating upset for you and for others. You come up to take a breath and you will notice how good the air feels, and how comforting the warm sun heals, and in those cloudy days, the little patch of blue that peeks out is a message of hope. It's all good!!!
I have one doll left in my Etsy Shop, if you so desire to have her fly home to your heartnest.
Happy Beautiful Weekend Everyone!!!
I have Julia's books and have written morning pages for years inspired by Julia and Natalie Goldberg in "Writing Down the Bones" and "Thunder and Lightening." Anne Lammott's books are good, "Plan B" and "Bird by Bird." I carry a Moleskine notebook with me everywhere. My morning pages have turned into anytime pages. So good to release emotion on the page and in my art.
Posted by: Darlene K Campbell | August 03, 2012 at 09:12 PM
Now I must get that book. I have some of those negative seeds I need to learn to let so of. You said it so well. You've inspired me to work on this. Now to get that book! I hope to take one of your online classes soon. And if you don't mind, I'll put a link on my blog. thanks for the positive vibe this morning....
Posted by: PJ Hornberger | July 12, 2012 at 05:13 AM
Your dolls are so beautiful! I, too, let things totally block my creative self and have this aching desire to create at times but just can't get past the sad, bad, or unhappy issues. I have Julia's books on my shelf. Reading your post has reminded me of that and this weekend I will get them down and begin reading again. Have a blessed weekend! :)
Posted by: Lana | June 08, 2012 at 12:43 PM
Awesome Jo! Let it out, get in touch and trust. We are in school every day. When we graduate, the lessons stop. Enjoy the process...it's all we have.
Looking forwarding to see you soon.
xxoo
Posted by: Renee Troy | June 05, 2012 at 09:47 PM
I met you at CHA in LA. Your spirit seemed soft and soaring. Your spirit is in your doll "let love in". That is who I saw at CHA. I call the others "emotional vampires". They can suck the life out of me if I let them. They have their life and I have mine. Love is the answer even for them but they have their own path and love is my path. It has been hard to find the love path but I have finally found it and I have to work to stay on this beautiful, light filled path. I close my eyes and see love and keep striving to see love. Being a creative one is our blessing.........we are so lucky.........only look for the beauty in life.......
Posted by: Theresa | June 05, 2012 at 11:52 AM
...i have found in this creative journey, that there are those that your soul gravitates towards.
no rhyme or reason, just a soul ~ connecting through creative energy.
your blog and your work do that to me ~
i feel a certain sweet sadness to it...not in a negative way, but in a way of real life.
sometimes, life IS hard, and it IS sad...
your dollies have that sweet sadness to them...
when i hold one in my hand, i can't help but feel that although the nitty gritty of life can seem overwhelming at times, there is ALWAYS hope...
IF only we choose to seek it!
i have been following along for a little while, and have felt your up and down journey with your beloved.
~ such a love is this ~
patience...kindness...gracefulness...dignity...friendship
those are the energies your dollies radiate loud and clear...how could one of them not call out to you?!
i count myself fortunate to have a glimpse into your lovely world ~ for out of your creative heart in hardship comes much beauty and you always seems to make such pretties out of little
thank you for sharing the bittersweet...
it is refreshing to read realness!
xo
p.s. after reading your post, i immediately headed for amazon and purchased the book you referred to.
a perfect book for a summer read!!
Posted by: Rosemary | May 29, 2012 at 05:00 AM
Hello Dear JoAnnA ~ I am loving this post, it is a perfect reminder to get my book out Again~ I read & followed along many years ago, in fact it was at that time when I came up with ZanyMayd! Now I think it is time to get out "The Artist Way" & start practicing it once again~ Always in love with your creations.... So Happy to hear that Arizona is Home! xox
Cheryl
Posted by: Cheryl~Zanymayd | May 28, 2012 at 09:55 AM
Oh thank you for sharing your journey. I was just asking what has gone wrong! I think this is an answer to prayer I am off to look for this book now thank you again Denise
Posted by: Pinkie D | May 26, 2012 at 08:02 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I left the people that made me so unhappy way behind me. They are no longer in my life. Everything is so much more positive now.
Posted by: Michelle | May 26, 2012 at 07:54 PM
Your dolls are beautiful. How wonderful to see that your Creativity is dancing for you again.
Posted by: Joanne Huffman | May 26, 2012 at 04:27 AM
Dearest Joanna,
No wonder that you now and then feels a bit lost, and unable to find your muse- you have been so many tough years ,and still are, I also -as you know- think you are a brave woman, and strong and beautiful,too. You have inspired me and filled my life with beauty from the first day, I met your blog, and you,- and I treasure our friendship very much.
I wish you a wonderful summer- and am happy for you that Arizone now is HOME, and a palce with dear friends.
Love,Dorthe
Posted by: Dorthe | May 26, 2012 at 12:30 AM
You're a tough, brave woman and very gentle and beautiful. You will make it. You will get there.
Every time I look at your work or read your new post I feel inspired to DO SOMETHING and end up working in my studio as well as feeling more confident. You're an inspiration to so many. God's blessings, Diane
Posted by: Diane | May 25, 2012 at 11:58 AM
OMGosh, I just finished the Artist Way a few months ago. The thoughts that spewed forth while writing my morning pages was incredulous, amazing, hard, heart wrenching and eye opening ...
Just writing the pages was such a healing process for me. And YES! it opens up your world to all kinds of wonderful creativity. Continue to enjoy!
Posted by: jeannie | May 25, 2012 at 11:04 AM