There is nothing more frustrating to me than when I know I'm a Creative but suddenly, the desire to create is diminished. Life itself can cause this, stress, lack of money, friendships gone bad, health issues, the list goes on. For me, what affects me the most, first, when Ron, my husband's health turns sour. You would think I'd have this totally under control, dealing now for 13 years, but I don't. Reasons: I worry, I feel spent, or I feel I'm at my "wits end". What also blocks me is when those you think love you, turn against you, because their own hearts are undeveloped. It frustrates me to no end when others are cold hearted and void of compassion.
I am really enjoying reading Julia Cameron's book right now, The Artist Way. She has helped me identify the "crazymakers" in my life and how they cause blockage in my creative flow. I love that I am gaining strength to move forward with much anticipation. Recently many new friends have entered my life, and for that I am so grateful. It is making Arizona feel like home now. And all these new friends are Creatives too. How cool is that!!!
This is Dreamer. Something felt different inside of me while creating her. I sensed a new kind of freedom within. A freedom to validate who I am and what I am called to do. In Julia's book, The Artist Way, she encourages you to write morning pages every day for thirty minutes. I have been doing this now for almost a month. It is amazing to see what comes out in just those thirty minutes. I've been getting answers to my questions. It has been an emptying of the "junk". My heart feels as if it is getting a spiritual bath, being repaired, stronger and better than before. This very change even reflects in the change of my handwriting. I am really enjoying the journey even though my circumstances have stayed the same.
I named this sweet little one, "Let Love In". As I am letting love be the dominance of my heart, I am "letting" OUT the opposite - resentment - bad seeds - the back-bitters bad works - unkindness - lack of compassion, etc. etc. It's a work in progress, but I'm feeling lighter having jumped on the train that is leading me upward. It takes action, and work, but it is worth every moment spent aiming for the destination I am determined to reach.
This big girl is named "Create Life". I've decided to keep her. She speaks to me right now and down the road, she may be ready to travel her own journey, but for now, she is my reminder - that we need to Create Life. It takes a conscious effort to do so. I watch my dear husband roll around in his wheelchair, room to room, almost aimless. I desire deep inside to create a life for him, but I can't. We each have to do it for ourselves. No one else can make our life for us. We have to take control. I am stepping out now and doing just that. It is a big huge change for me, but that's where I am feeling the "freedom", becoming who I want to be.
Are you stuck? You don't have to be. Be willing to do the work, and changes will come. You will find yourself rearranging your life, for the better. You will be happy that the "bad seeds" are no longer involved, creating upset for you and for others. You come up to take a breath and you will notice how good the air feels, and how comforting the warm sun heals, and in those cloudy days, the little patch of blue that peeks out is a message of hope. It's all good!!!
I have one doll left in my Etsy Shop, if you so desire to have her fly home to your heartnest.
Happy Beautiful Weekend Everyone!!!