This being Breast Cancer Awareness month, I really want to share my story with who ever will read it. I had no clue and just maybe, this will be some important info for someone else down the road.
It was January of 1999. I went in for my regular mammogram. They found calcification's and wanted me back in three months. Meanwhile, my husband, Ron, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in his brain stem. This was devastating to say the least, and to be honest, I forgot about me. So I wonder...what if? Maybe I could have caught my breast cancer at a very early stage instead of it being Stage 3.
Ron had two brain surgeries over the next couple of years, and he needed a lot of my attention, so I still didn't go back. I know, shame on me. One thing I remembered also, is that mammogram was thee most painful experience I had ever had. The technician had smashed my breast so hard, that I was bruised for days. I didn't want to go back. Now I'm learning how mammograms can cause cancer. Sometimes I think that time did it for me.
Okay, so the next mammogram I got was in 2004. I did have a tumor but it turned out to be benign. I had a benign tumor back when I was 29. So I wasn't worried. Then last summer my nipple suddenly went inverted. I thought that was weird. I did some research on the net but nothing seemed to say this was not normal. I didn't worry, honestly. I had way too much else to think about.
Then one day out of the blue, my entire breast got really hard. My nipple started to hurt really bad. I finally called the doctor and in I went, okay, not right away. I had to go to Seattle first to see Lindsay, my niece, before departing for Iraq.
When my doctor saw my nipple, she said that this was a classic sign of cancer. I said, "well, what else could it be?" She did explain how it could be some other things, so that is what I had in my head...the other things. Yes, I was in major denial.
Off I went to have a mammogram and ultrasound. Still, nothing showed up. My breast tissue was too dense for these exams to read through it. Strange, eh? But off to the surgeon I went.
The rest of the story is history now. Had a first surgery November 8th. I can't believe it is almost a year now that I was told I had breast cancer. I was so in shock. I really was. November 23rd I had my mastectomy.
Loosing a breast at 49 years old is really hard. I'm 50 now and it's still hard. My tumor was 5.5 mm which is really big. I had another one there too. My surgeon thought I was in very big trouble. I had two lymph nodes that were positive. During chemo, my oncologist kept telling me that my case was really really bad. I still don't get that, what he meant by it.
November 3rd, next month I will be seeing a new oncologist in Sacramento at US Davis. I have had three recommendations for her. I'm glad she is a women. I know I need to be followed, so here continues the journey. I really just want to be in denial, ya know. That's me!! But I must go to please my mother...lol. She still thinks I'm going to die. I have to yell at her ALL the time. MOM, I'M ALIVE and I'm living until I die!!!
I do forget sometimes what this year was all about. I have been so busy preparing to teach in Conn. next week, among other things. I love being busy but need to slow down and take care of myself again. I haven't been doing that lately.
So, that's my story in a nutshell. If you have any questions, please ask away. I will be gone out of town from Oct. 17th and will be back the 27th. I hope to have some computer connection while away.
My heart goes out to all women who have experience breast cancer. It is not a fun ordeal and it does change you, and for me, I believe was for the better. I cherish life and I cherish those around me every day. I enjoy the simple things in life like I never did before. I am living until I die, whenever that might be. I hope not for a long time...too much to do...to much art to create!
To LIFE!!
Love to all...JoAnnA
